Have you ever let someone get under your skin so badly that you're not yourself anymore? My ex had me so stressed out all the time that I became this really ugly, ANGRY, neurotic, miserable person. There wasn't any of ME left. Anyway, I bring this up because my phone had just updated to visual voicemail and there was a really old message saved from a number that was one digit off from my ex's which instantly took me back.
It was a fairly typical evening where I leave work, get my daughter from aftercare, help her with homework, prepare dinner and then we wait, starving, while it gets cold. It was requested (AKA demanded) that we all have family dinner together every night. Which I would have been perfectly happy with if he were consistent, or even came home for that matter. There was zero communication from him about his estimated time of arrival, and heaven forbid I ask about his day let alone try to ask when to expect him. I was constantly accused of being interrogative, even if all I said is hello when he walked in the door. This particular day I called because it was the night of Open House at my daughters school. No answer. I get a text 30 minutes later:
"WHAT!?"
"Will you be home soon? We'd like to eat before Open House."
"I'll be home when I get there."
"So are you coming to Open House? Should I wait for you or are you meeting us there?"
"What did I just say?"
This alone is irritating as fuck but compound everything else that had been going on for years and it's a recipe for disaster. I waited a bit, letting it fester, while trying to be patient to see if he'd show up before I needed to leave. Got my phone out and was scrolling on Facebook to pass time and, oh, there he is. His co-worker checked the two of them in at a bar. And while I'm looking at it a comment pops up from a girl that I've had suspicions about asking, "What, am I invisible?" You know those sayings, my blood is boiling, and, I've had it up to here? That's the best way to describe how I physically felt at that moment, followed by turning into the Hulk and wanting to SMASH everything in sight.
In my fit of rage, I was a bit dramatic and actually dialed his number, pounding the screen of my phone instead of just clicking his picture stored in favorites. I let it ring four times then hung up before his voicemail picked up and kept calling back over and over again until he answered. (OMG. Psycho, right??) When he finally picked up I didn't give him a chance to speak, knowing he'd just yell at me for being so obnoxious. I SCREAMED at him, every ounce of frustration from over the years came out, I called him every name you could possibly imagine and said some pretty fucked up things about him cheating on me (I later got confessions about my suspicions, BTW, wasn't all just me being crazy). And he says, "Who? What? Hold on, huh?" So I hollered at him to stop playing dumb and he started LAUGHING. But it wasn't my ex's laugh.
I was totally caught off guard and confused, I asked who it was but before he could answer I looked at the number on my phone. Oh, SHIT! It was the wrong number. I quickly apologized and hung up. A few moments later that number tried calling me back. I let it go to voicemail and his message was this, "Hey, why'd you hang up? This was just getting good! I'd like to know the ending, please call me back." HAHAHA Ughhhhh.
Listening to it just now was a great reminder of how awful that relationship was and what I will NEVER allow myself to get into again.
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